There is now no such thing as ambition. We are all just treading water. The expansiveness of the Unprecedented Era stops. All the varied throng are reduced to this one thing.
Make no mistake, those impulses still shiver. Only hooded they are. That is brake enough for now.
Like during World War II. Then the common bar reduced us, everyone, for the duration. Not that we are equal. Each suffer according to their position. But for a time the clock of life has paused, confining us.
May it be that the pent heat does not melt the system of the world, that we do not drop through the floor into the pit.
If I resent the ferment, I prefer it to that pit.
Nuclear fusion occurs in nature all the time. It’s that big hot thing in the sky. We all know that.
But does nuclear fission every occur in nature?
The answer is: yes. Once, that we know of. 1.7 billion years ago, in what is currently, but was not then, Gabon, veins of uranium ore arranged themselves just so and were affected just right so that nuclear fission spontaneously began.
But how did this affect the life forms atop the land? Did they mutate and acquire superpowers? IS THIS HOW DINOSAURS BEGAN?
No. Because multicellular life as we know it only started about 600 million years ago.
As with so much of natural history, the only witnesses were protozoa, and they weren’t in the habit of filming newsreels.
So in 2017 I stopped being a fiction writer. I’m not trying to write fiction anymore.
What am I doing?
On one occasion, Bob Weir and Jerry Garcia were arguing–again!–about Bob’s playing. And Bob said
“I’m searching for a part.”
To which Jerry replied
“Play a rhythm fucking part!”
I’m trying, Jerry. I’m trying.